


Little Black Book

by Jdlilith



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 02:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17479502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jdlilith/pseuds/Jdlilith
Summary: Merlin finds a little black book and what he finds inside terrifies him. Luckily he knows someone he can turn to with the information he finds.





	Little Black Book

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of the first things I've ever written. I originally had this posted as a chapter piece on FanFiction (Where it can still be found). I have grown a lot as a writer since this story and now most of my chapters are the length of this entire story. I've decided to post this here in almost its original form only i'm posting it as a one shot instead of chapters. I hope you enjoy.

Merlin was cleaning Arthur’s room, making sure it was spotless. He knew the prince was under a lot of stress since taking Camelot back from Morgana and Merlin was determined to make things as easy as he could for the royal prat. He had already washed all of the prince’s clothes and polished his armor. The bed was made and the floors were scrubbed. He had organized the papers that Arthur was taking responsibility for now that Uther had fallen ill.

Arthur was going to become a great king one day, Merlin truly believed that. He believed it not because of what the great dragon had told him but rather because he could see it for himself. After Morgana attacked Camelot and reviled her magic to Uther he had been crushed. Uther had never recovered from his stay in the dungeon and it became clear to Arthur within days that his father would never be the same again. Arthur immediately began acting in the king’s stead. Arthur was now the one in charge of the kingdom, Uther was king only in name. 

Merlin was just about to leave, proud of the work he had done, when he noticed something under Arthur’s bed. Worried that someone may have tried to curse or enchant the young prince, Merlin went to investigate. Under the bed Merlin found a small black book, the kind he had seen women have to hold their personal thoughts. Being as curious as he was Merlin had to read it.

When Merlin opened the book and started reading it made little since to him at first. He almost thought that Arthur, it was clearly Arthur’s handwriting, had been writing in some kind of code. There was dates written on page after page. Some dates had been crossed out and a name written beside it. The names are what told Merlin what the dates had meant. The first name he came across was that of Nimueh. Each and every date was a time magic had been used in the kingdom and the dates crossed off were the times a culprit had been found. Merlin realized, to his horror, that most of the date that were left were times he had used his magic, times he thought he had gotten away unnoticed, he had clearly been wrong. 

Merlin became more and more scared as he read through the pages until he got to the very last entry. There was no date there, no act of magic mentioned, just three words that chilled Merlin to the bone and made him run from Arthur’s chambers.

“Merlin has Magic”

_Merlin has Magic. _Those three words were running around in Merlin’s head as he ran. He ran and ran until his lungs hurt but he just kept running. He had no idea where is was heading until he was at the training field where all five of Arthur’s knights were training. Luckily Arthur was not with them, Merlin didn’t know what he would do.  
Lancelot was sparring against Percival both of them using maces. Leon was against Gwaine with swords and the more experienced knight was actually able to hold his own against the talented swordsman. Elyan was watching both matches acting as the referee. __

__Merlin stopped to watch the men and catch his breath. He secretly loved watching the knight’s train, not so much when he was the victim, but it was fun all the same. These matches were fun and light hearted. No one was ever seriously hurt and no one ever died in one of these matches. Insults were flung back and forth but it was always in brotherly love._ _

__“Is that all you have? Guinevere can fight better then you” Perceval mocked at Lancelot. Lancelot froze in that split second and Perceval landed an immense blow to Lancelot’s shoulder, denting the protective armor there._ _

__Lancelot dropped his mace as pain shot down his arm. Merlin ran over to him to check and make sure his friend was alright._ _

__“I’m sorry Lancelot, I don’t know my own strength” Percival said, checking on his friend._ _

__“That was a low blow” Lancelot said with a smile on his face, softening his words. “Bringing up Gwen like that”_ _

__Percival laughed “Maybe, but she would have been able to block that blow”_ _

__“That she would have” Lancelot laughed as well and right then they knew their friendship was still intact._ _

__Merlin took off Lancelot’s armor and pulled the shoulder of his shirt and chainmail down so he could see the damage. There was bruising already and Lancelot winced in pain at any movement to his arm._ _

__“You’re going to need Gaius to look at this” Merlin said and helped the man up and walked with him to the physician’s chambers._ _

__Gaius was not in his room when they arrived. Lancelot sat down on a stool and with Merlin’s help he removed his shirt and the rest of his armor. His shoulder was now badly bruised but he still had motion in it and Merlin determined that is was not broken._ _

__“I should have known better than to go against him with a mace” Lancelot was scolding himself. “Played into his strength and height advantage.”_ _

__Merlin was oddly quite as he looked around the room and found a suave that Gaius would use to treat muscle aches and bruising like Lancelot now had. He didn’t say anything as he went to Lance and started rubbing the suave into his shoulder. Lance groaned in pain at first and then relaxed into it. He could clearly see that something was bothering the sorcerer but was not going to push for information. So the two sat in silence as Merlin massaged Lancelot’s shoulder much longer then was necessary for the medicine._ _

__“He knows” Merlin said quietly as his hands dropped to his side. “Arthur knows.” It was just a whisper and tears started to fall from his eyes. Not tears of sadness or those of pain, but tears of fear. The sorcerer was terrified of what Arthur was going to do to him now._ _

__Lancelot pulled Merlin into a hug. The knight didn’t have to ask what is was the Arthur knew, there was only one thing that would make Merlin feel like this. Arthur knew of his magic and there was nothing Lancelot could do to fix this._ _

__“It will be alright” he promised “I won’t let anything happen to you.” He would rather die than see Merlin hurt for the gift he had been born with. It was nothing Merlin could control having and it was something he used almost daily to keep the prince alive. Who could ever wish to harm him for doing that?_ _

__“I’ll be killed” Merlin was holding onto Lancelot like he was the only solid thing in the world. “I’ll be burned alive.”_ _

__Lancelot lightly placed his hand under Merlin’s chin and made the young wizard look him in the eyes. “I would die before I let that happen to you. You are too important to that Royal prat, too important to Camelot, too important to me”_ _

__The last part was just a whisper but Merlin heard it and all the feelings behind those simple words. His eyes grew wide with shock as he looked up at the knight. Lancelot was his best friend, the man that knew everything about him and stood with him just the same. He would protect Lancelot with his life, not because it was his destiny to like with Arthur, because he wanted to._ _

__Merlin wasn’t sure which one of them had move, who started what happened next, but the next thing he knew was that Lancelot’s lips were pressed against his in the sweetest kiss he had ever felt._ _

__Merlin woke the next morning feeling extremely comfortable and warm. The sun was just starting to come in his window and he would have to get up and wake Arthur soon. That thought went over him like ice water and he shot up in bed. It was only then did he realize it wasn’t his bed he had been laying on but Lancelot._ _

__Lancelot was in bed with Merlin, naked. His larger frame took up most of the bed and Merlin had been laying on his chest, now straddling his lap since he sat up. Lancelot was awake now from his bedmates movements. He simply smiled at Merlin until he saw the fear in his eyes._ _

__“What’s wrong? Do you regret ….” Lancelot started to ask if Merlin regret what happened but was silenced by a light kiss from his sorcerer._ _

__“I have wanted this for a long time. I just remembered about Arthur … It scared me” Merlin told him as he got up and started getting dressed. “I have to face him today”  
Lancelot started getting his clothes on as well and pulled the other man into his arms. “I promise I won’t let him hurt you.”_ _

__Merlin was comforted by his words. He knew that Lancelot was a man of his word and that gave Merlin the strength he needed to face his master without fear … well much fear. “Thank you”_ _

__“How did he find out anyways?” Lancelot asked_ _

__“He isn’t as oblivious as I thought he was” Merlin told him about the record Arthur had been keeping of ever time he thought magic had been used and the three words that Merlin had found at the end of the book._ _

__“So he could have known for a long time” Lancelot pointed out. “He hasn’t done anything yet, maybe he won’t.”_ _

__Merlin tried to be hopeful of that and headed out to do his morning chores for Arthur but stopped dead by that he saw in Gaius’ chambers. Lancelot’s forgotten armor was neatly stacked on one of the tables along with his shirt and Gaius was standing in the middle of the room with his disapproving face on._ _

__Lancelot seemed unbothered by any of this or the fact he was caught leaving Merlin’s room half naked but the warlock’s father figure. He simply went over, put his shirt on, and gathered his armor. “Thank you Gaius”_ _

__The old man ignored the knight, still looking at his apprentice. Lancelot headed to the door and left, getting Gaius’ hint that he wanted to talk to Merlin alone._ _

__“I know what you’re going to say Gaius but I have some bigger problems to deal with.” Merlin sighed and sat down to his breakfast._ _

__“I was simply going to tell you to be cautious.” Gaius sat across from Merlin to join him for breakfast. “You know I worry about you.”_ _

__Merlin knew and it warmed him. “Lancelot knows of my magic, he knows everything about me. He is a noble and trustworthy man. You have nothing to fear from him.”_ _

__Gaius could tell Merlin believed what he said and that nothing the old man said would change Merlin’s mind about Lancelot. “Fine” he sighed “What else is troubling you?”  
Merlin was playing with his food and didn’t say anything._ _

__“ _Mer _lin …” Gaius started but Merlin jumped up and headed to the door, saying something about waking Arthur for an important meeting. The warlock was clearly not ready to open up to his mentor. If there was anything Gaius had learned over the last few years with Merlin, it was that Merlin would open up to him in his own time.  
Merlin tried to compose himself before entering Arthur’s chambers with his breakfast. He was surprised to find the prince was already awake and dressed.___ _

____“Merlin, it’s about time you showed up. Late night at the tavern?” Arthur was annoyed with his manservant and friend. He was running the kingdom and could not show any form of weakness, not even showing up late._ _ _ _

____Merlin blushed lightly as he remembered what he had been doing last night. Arthur simply took that as conformation that Merlin had been out all-night drinking. He quickly put the young man to work without a single please or thank you for all the work he had managed to complete the day before. Merlin did relax though when Arthur didn’t call for the guards to drag him away to the dungeon. In fact, Arthur didn’t say a single word about Merlin’s magic._ _ _ _

____Merlin was left running around most of the morning to try and finish Arthur’s chores along with helping out Gaius. It was a long and exhausting morning and in the afternoon he was happy to have a break and watch the knight’s train. Arthur was joining them today, having the time in his schedule._ _ _ _

____Arthur was in the middle of a match against Leon when Lancelot came over to Merlin._ _ _ _

____“So you’re not in chains” Lancelot noted._ _ _ _

____“No, Arthur has not mentioned it all day.” Merlin sounded relived. “Although he did wonder as to why I was running late.” Merlin teased with a smile._ _ _ _

____“Did you inform him the reason?” He looked from Merlin to Arthur a little worried._ _ _ _

____“Oh yes, told him all about this crazy night I spent with one of his most trusted men in the throes of passion.” Merlin said this all with a straight face until Lancelot gawked at him in utter shock at which point he burst into laughter. “He assumed I was at the tavern all night.”_ _ _ _

____Lancelot started laughing, Merlin had got him good. He truly believed that if asked Merlin would not lie to his prince._ _ _ _

____“Lancelot, can I ask you something?” Merlin looked down at his feet._ _ _ _

____“Anything” Lancelot answered honestly but he could tell from Merlin’s actions that this was going to be uncomfortable._ _ _ _

____“Do you still love Gwen?”_ _ _ _

____Lancelot was quiet following the question and Merlin’s heart sank. He should have known better that ask that so soon. But in honesty, Merlin had to know the answer if things were to continue between the two of them._ _ _ _

____Lancelot sat down next to Merlin. “That’s not really an easy thing to answer.” He told Merlin honestly. “When I first came to Camelot and met you and Gwen, I was in awe of her. I mean she is a beautiful woman.”_ _ _ _

____Merlin nodded his agreement but didn’t say anything. Lancelot had not answered his question yet._ _ _ _

____“Later on” Lancelot continued “I learned what a spirted fighter she was. I was enamored by her. But there are many things I have learned about her that show I was wrong about her. I do not fault her for her feelings for Arthur or for any of the things she has done. But she is not the person I believed her to be when I first came to Camelot, and neither are you. When I came to Camelot I always knew you cared deeply for your friends and were willing to do anything to help them. But as I have seen you these past few months with Arthur is have seen even more of the man you are. You risk your life countless times for all of ours, you are the most noble among us. You never ask for anything in return for your actions. You rush into battles, untrained to keep us safe. You give to people you don’t even know, willing to risk exposure just to save one life. You have only ever lied to protect your secret, lies that never hurt anyone, lies that you never used to get what you wanted.”_ _ _ _

____Merlin didn’t know where all of this was going to lead, but he let Lancelot finish._ _ _ _

____“When Gwen and I were held captive, she swore to me that she loved me and that her feelings for me would never change. I was so happy right then and willing to take on a whole army to keep her safe. I know now, that is what she was hoping for.” Lancelot was looking at his hands in his lap as he spoke quietly. “Once we escaped and were in camp with you and Arthur I could see it. I could see the feelings she had for him. I wasn’t angry with her though. I could understand why she did what she had done. That is why I had left again. It was a short time after leaving that I realized that Gwen was not right for me and any feeling I had for her died shortly after.” Lancelot looked up at Merlin then. “So the answer to your question is no, I do not love Gwen.”_ _ _ _

____Merlin grinned at him, his boyish grin. Right at that moment he wanted to throw himself at the knight and kiss him, but he didn’t dear with everyone nearby. They sat in comfortable silence until it was Lancelot’s turn to fight. He was against Percival again but this time he decide to use a sword to place them on a more even level.  
Percival was still an intimidating opponent for any of the knights. Lancelot was able to hold his own against him. When it seemed like Lancelot had the upper hand Percival tried going for his old tactics._ _ _ _

____“You’ve gotten better, Gwen been giving you lessons?” he lunged for Lancelot right after the mention of Gwen, expecting the other man’s guard to be down. Lancelot parried the attack and stuck back at him._ _ _ _

____“You’re going to have to come up with something better than that is you want to win this.” Lancelot quickly tripped the bigger man so he landed on his back, Lancelot’s sword pointed to his chest. Lancelot put his weapon away and helped the man to his feet._ _ _ _

____“Merlin?” Percival whispered it once he was close enough to Lancelot that he would not be overheard. Lancelot’s grip on the bigger man’s hand slipped and Percival almost fell back onto his butt. He started laughing as he walked away from a stunned Lancelot._ _ _ _

____Lancelot took his time getting his armor off in the armory, knowing that Percival was always last to leave. The giant liked to say it took him so long because he was twice the man any of them were. Lancelot came up to him after everyone else had left with only one question on his mind._ _ _ _

____“How?” he asked_ _ _ _

____“How did I know?” Percival smiled at him. “I’m your friend Lancelot. When we met you told me about Gwen and what happened with her but when doing so I noticed you mentioned Merlin about as much as you did Arthur. I figured it was because they were always together. At the castle of the ancient kings I noticed something between the two of you. Then to day with all the talking and laughing and not flinching at the mention of Gwen, I figured you finally did something.”_ _ _ _

____Lancelot clasped his hand on his friends shoulder. “You know that if you tell anyone I will gut you” Lancelot’s voice sounded serious with just a hint of humor at the end._ _ _ _

____“You would have to best me first.” Percival smiled at his friend and knew he would not breathe a word of this to anyone._ _ _ _

____The next few weeks seemed to fly by. Every night Lancelot would come to Merlin’s room to talk with his friend about the day. They spent hours making fun of Arthur and the knights, talking about Uther’s condition, the new treatments and spells Merlin was learning. Lancelot had no issue with Merlin’s use of magic and often Arthur’s clothes were washing themselves during his talks with Lancelot. It seemed so natural for him to lay in the knight’s arms and talk until they fell to sleep. Even Gaius seemed to approve of their relationship, having an extra bowl for Lancelot in the mornings during breakfast. It was as if nothing had changed between the two men, but like everything had changed all at the same time._ _ _ _

____They would often share kisses while safe in Gaius’ chambers or when alone in the armory where no one could see them. Arthur never brought up the fact the Merlin had magic and was very busy seeing to the king’s duties._ _ _ _

____One day Arthur found out about a few outlying villages that were being attacked by bandits and he was excited. Finally a reason for him to get out of Camelot, a reason to ignore all the duties that were placed on him while his father was ill, a reason to be just a knight._ _ _ _

____Arthur had his men ready to set out in the morning. It was unknown how many men they would be facing so he brought along, Lancelot, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan, and Merlin. It was a three-day ride to the villages affected so they were all ready to leave at first light._ _ _ _

____The first two days passed in relative ease. The knights joked with each other, at one-point chucking fruit from a tree they passed at Arthur and Merlin then acting innocent when the two turned around. It was a relaxing journey and all involved enjoyed the time away from the castle. At night the men would tease Merlin, giving him a huge list of chores before he could even eat, but somehow half the chores were done for him and he would get his hot meal. He knew the knights saw him as a brother and helped when he wasn’t looking. Lancelot would always wake Merlin during his watch and the two would sit together in mostly silence, just comfortable to be together._ _ _ _

____They reached the village about mid-day the third day to find the bandits already attacking. Without and hesitation the knights spurred their horses into the village to take on the bandits. Although they were outnumbered they had the surprise advantage. Merlin tried to stay hidden and protect all the men. He would use his magic to make arrows and swords just miss the intended targets. A few times Merlin was forced to use his magic to push men away from Arthur’s back. As good of a fighter as the Prince was, he never watched behind him._ _ _ _

____The Bandits discerned they were losing and is a last act of revenge started setting fire to the village homes. Arthur was locked in battle with the apparent leader of the group. Merlin heard screaming coming from a home engulfed in flames. Merlin didn’t see any other choice but to use his magic to save whoever was within that home. He stood from his hiding place and called upon the power inside him, shouting out the incantation clouds formed above the village and rain started to pour. The fires around the village started to go out from the unrelenting rain. When Merlin looked out we was met by four pairs of shocked eyes, a terrified Lancelot and a pissed off Prince._ _ _ _

____Merlin wanted to run but at that moment he was frozen in place. He just performed a powerful spell and everyone had seen it. There was nothing he could do, no lie that could cover up what they had all been witness to. Merlin felt his knees in the mud as his hands covered his face. He had performed his magic openly and without hesitation and all he could think of was that fact that no matter what he would do it again. He saved the village, the crops, and the people. He would take the punishment when it came, whatever it was._ _ _ _

____He heard footsteps in the mud heading over to him and stopping right in front of him. When he finally got the nerve to look up he saw Lancelot holding his hand out to Merlin. He took it and stood up slowly._ _ _ _

____“I won’t allow anyone to hurt Merlin for saving this village” Lancelot said looking each of his fellow knights in the eyes._ _ _ _

____Perceval was the first knight to move. He slowly walked forward with his hand on his blade. Once he reached to two men he turned around to face his other knights, wordlessly showing his support. Gwaine was the next to walk over to Merlin and join the force to protect him. Leon and Elyan walked over together, the five knights united to protect their friend, even if it was from Arthur._ _ _ _

____“You know you are defending a sorcerer. He has broken the law of Camelot. He is to be put to death. You all could be killed for protecting him.” Arthur was using his prince voice, but none of the men left Merlin._ _ _ _

____“We are defending our friend” Gwaine said and smiled at Merlin._ _ _ _

____“Is that the way you all feel?” Arthur asked his knights and they all nodded to him. “Good, then I think we can all agree to never speak of this once we return home.” Arthur smiled at his knight, proud of their devotion._ _ _ _

____“That’s all?” Elyan asked, confused_ _ _ _

____“But Sire …” Leon felt like he should protest but not sure what to protest to._ _ _ _

____“That’s why you never said anything …” Merlin finally realized. Arthur had known for a long time about his magic and never said anything to protect him._ _ _ _

____Arthur came storming over to Merlin, anger in his eyes again. “Yes, I was protecting you, and if you ever pull something this stupid once we get back to Camelot I might just have you hanged for being such an idiot!” Arthur was angry out of worry; all the knights could see it._ _ _ _

____“You’re such a royal prat sometimes.” Merlin smiled at him “You know how many times I have saved your life?”_ _ _ _

____“Three, today” Arthur answered without even having to think about it. “I do pay attention Merlin”_ _ _ _

____That became the end of that conversation. Everyone now knew Merlin had magic and it seemed like they were all willing to defend him. They got to work helping to fix the village and repair what they could before nightfall. The villagers were nice enough to offer their homes to them. The homes were small and only one or two men could stay at each but it was a warm and dry place to stay. Merlin was following Arthur to the home that he was going to stay in when Arthur stopped him._ _ _ _

____“Go stay with Lancelot” he told Merlin, looking over to the home Lancelot had just entered._ _ _ _

____“But sir, I should stay with you, I am your servant, Lancelot doesn’t need me.” Merlin protested, I mean how it would look if he left Arthur to his own to help out one of the knights, someone that he wasn’t a servant to._ _ _ _

____“He doesn’t need you, but you want to be with him.” Arthur smirked and the dumbfounded look Merlin gave him. “I told you, I do pay attention. You’re not as sneaky as you think Merlin.”_ _ _ _

____Merlin blushed but half nodded half bowed to Arthur and then went off to the home Lancelot was staying in._ _ _ _

____Lancelot was surprised when Merlin came through the door. He had a blanket laid out on the floor, refusing to take the bed from the couple that lived in the home. Merlin didn’t say a word as he came to sit by Lancelot. They laid down with Lancelot’s arm around Merlin and Merlin’s head on his shoulder, an arm around his waist._ _ _ _

____“Lancelot … I love you” is was just the lights whisper past Merlin’s lips._ _ _ _

____“I feel the same for you.” Not a full declaration of love, but one all the same._ _ _ _

____The slept in each other’s arms that night. The first time they could before starting this trip. For the two of them, everything was right in the world._ _ _ _


End file.
